hōm

je suis parti. retourné à la maison.  

home. home. the repetition does nothing for me. the furniture, framed pictures, scattered belongings surrounding me now, are familiar. they've been my still, well-behaved companions for years. but this is not my home. i prefer the pillow stitch definition of home: "home is where the heart is." whether it be a house by the beach, or a certain little city whose charm made me feel like i belonged there...my heart now resides in both. and the latter is a place where i will return. because homes are meant not only for dwelling, but returning.  

together again

going to pick up amanda from the metro.
she's braving it alone.
i can't believe she's going to see what my life has been like for the past 3 months!
crraazzzyy. even more weir! ah!

noah for the day

love this little munchkin

remember when eating cookies was never followed by the thought of weight?
those were the days.


walking home

amazing amazing amazing

monet's water lilies me for scale.

this one really was my favorite. the injustice of these works is almost painful. they are so incredible. truly, incredible.
geez, i feel so russian here. tho theriouth!

blurred just like the lillies.
a nice american women offered to take a picture of sarah and i. she thought she was doing us a favor. we didn't want one, yet i thanked her and obliged. waiting for people to get out of the way, messing up the lens, making sure it wasn't on flash, waiting for people to get out of the way again, people staring at the obnoxious tourists we were being... not a fan. in anycase, it was a nice gesture, and i laughed at sarah's embarrassed polite english self.

this picture would have been perfect! look at those two sets of lovers conoodeling by the pond. so lovely. and then there's that eyesore of a figure. a tourist. :)

enjoy the ride

sometimes things just blow up in your face.
and there's nothing you can do about it.

one last word: COMMENT

for those who do, thank you.
for those who don't, DO.

favorites from today

notre dame

have you ever seen an open stained glass window?? i didn't even know the possibility existed.

a peaceful pigeon just chillin' with Jesus

fountaine de medicis, jardin du luxembourg

after an encounter with a lonely italian man, i relocated here. although his teeth looked as if they were permanently crusted with cheetos, he was harmless. however, the seemingly harmless grow creepy with the passage of time. so after a few friendly exchanges, i bid him good day.

catching the metro at cite to go back home.

ma hood

for julie

Attempt for Accountability

Technically, I could be roaming around Paris right now. I just got off work, and NEED to get out of the house. However, the following To Do list must take precedent:

1.) Send one incredibly long overdo email (so late, "better late than never" may not apply)
2.) Buy soy milk boxes (Geraldine might kill my lactose intolerant soul if i don't)
3.) Plan out two amazing itineraries. One for myself (a whole week off!). Another, for when amanda comes.
4.) Write out some very important goals for my liiiifffeeee. and HOW i'm going to accomplish them. (on going work in progress)

Although small in number, these require mental faculty (sans #2). Just wanted to share and put them out in the void.

nice of you to stop by

this is tabitha. she's pretty great. from the south of london, and an au pair with a salary which puts the rest of us to shame (her weekly pay about equals mine monthly!). to pass the time at her old job, she would flip through randomly generated blogs here on blogspot (which explains all the randoms who've stumbled on to mine. hello.) once i told her utah had been a previous address of mine, the following conversation gave me a good laugh. her commentary is too priceless, not to share:

big problem.

just told geraldine how great she was for letting amanda stay here next month. with the reaction i got, i might was well have told her, "there's a huge purple giraffe pooping all over your clothes!"
before i arrived she told me,"you can have a friend stay here in our guest bedroom." when i arrived, "you can have a friend stay here in our guest bedroom." lies.
a month ago, i asked if it was ok for my friend amanda to come stay here, just to double check. she looked at me, hesitated, and then agreed. david heard, came into the room, and piped off in irritated french to geraldine. didn't look at me once. i had no idea what he was saying. after he walked out, "so...is it ok if amanda comes the last week i'm here?" she did her weird eye-twitch-and-stare, "it's like you want." seeing as amanda is coming in 2 weeks, i wanted to give her a heads up. SHE HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT. "david said you couldn't have a friend stay. i was right here when he told you. remember?" she exclaimed. looked like she was going to kill me. i apologized for misunderstanding, awkwardly fumbled all over myself, and felt a huge rush of stress go to my head.
i cannot even explain how terrible the communication is between us. yes, they "speak" english. but, they don't actually SPEAK english. in the end, she realized there was nothing that could be done. when they meet her, they'll love her. and it won't be a problem.....i hope.

lest we forget

the true gifts of easter:

bedtime

i'm sleeping over at my friend's house in paris. so tired. after going out for thai, i was satisfied to go home. my body was humming from the tasty, clean, exquisite food i had just nourished it with. but youth was calling (via julie's iphone). we headed over to the night scene in bastille. bars aren't my scene. and my attempts were failing, i was too tired to make myself interesting. i just wanted to observe. the guys. the girls. their interactions. the way they swayed to the music, and moved like a tetress puzzle as people moved through the crowd. even the token old guy deluded with visions from his prime was entertaining. but i could feel myself fading, so back to the marais i went. now i'm laying on the couch. why am i writing this? i need to go to bed. i'm going to bed. goodnight.

sarah's sincere sayings

imagine the following quotes being said in an adorable english accent:

"i'm gaining weight and finding toy cars in my coat. somethings gotta give." you'd have to understand the context in which this was said, to understand why i found this to be so funny. but, all i could manage to say in response was, "preview to motherhood."

tired and distraught from venting about her devil child, sarah lied helpless on my bed and said, "it's terrible to say you hate a child."

scooby doobie doo

just went outside and caught my au pair dad smokin' a doobie. oops!
i randomly stepped outside tonight. and to my surprise, found david chilling on the back patio.
"oh...hi. what's up?"
he mumbles something and shrugs his shoulders.
as i turn to leave, a familiar smell wafts past me. i look at him with a knowing smile. "je sais cette odeur."
"it is good, non?"

seven pounds

will smith and i share the same dilemma: seven pounds of body mass to lose.
7 pounds in 2 months. boy has it been fun! i know i should be more upset. but i'm actually kind of impressed. however, as fun as this has all been, i don't want to come back a rollie pollie. so, starting tomorrow, i must bid adue to my fat child ways. no more nutella, bueno bars, crêpes, pastries, etc. at least, until amanda comes.
but if i must have something sweet to occupy my mouth, macaroons are where it's at. small, delightful, and deliciously satisfying. not to mention, those little macaroonies are so cute. before coming out here, i tried one of those bite sized concoctions at a posh desert place in hillcrest. (remember dad?) wasn't that impressed. but my mom told me i had to have one in paris. you can bet i arose to the challenge. and after trying one of those babies in saint germain...oh man...heaven in my mouth. no comparison.

GC

thank you technology. because of you. i get to watch this!

three little words

noah by noah

while walking the kids to school on friday, sacha decided to go trumping through the newly planted tulips in the park."sacha, non! ce n'est pas bon pour les fleurs!" i call out to him. such a boy. on our way back from school both boys run over to the flowers. as sacha tries to run through them i yell, "non, pas encore!" then, noah catches my attention as he is yanking a tulip out of the ground. "arrêt noah! stop, stop." he stands up with slumped shoulders, puts his head down and says "mais pour toi..." with the cutest pouty face i have ever seen. my face immediatly softens and then goes in to an "aww" face (frown and pout at the same time). broke my heart! so i ran over to him, quickly picked him up, and gave him a big kiss on the cheek. "merci, tu es très bon garçon!" it totally made my day.
that's why when he started picking flowers today, i just smiled. it was so adorable. he made me a little bouquet of tulips, leaves, and light purple flowers. he's only 4 and he knows how to treat a lady. love this kid! :)

meet dan and eric. dan likes eric. eric likes dan. and phil liked them both so much, he let them stay at his flat for their spring break. it was great having them here. and even more entertaining just to be around them.

taken by yours truly. i love it. so candid.

dan. eric. phil.

so contemplative i unkowingly give dirty looks.

these last 4 were taken by eric on his much more sophisticated camera.

carbon copy

ok. so, my blog has been pretty picture/video heavy as of late. but, it seemed the easiest way to satisfy my guilt for lagging on updates. but, i have to write about some of my experiences and thougts here. images can only take one so far. instead of trying to pull out details and stories, i'll share one of my present thoughts...
over the weekend i was sitting in the cave of one of paris' infamous jazz clubs. this place was packed and just buzzing with life! after dancing, i sat down in the back with a friend and threw out a question to a stranger.
"what do you like the most about your life?"
"what?" he asks in a thick brazillian accent, surprised at my off beat inquiry.
"what do you like the most about you life?"
pause. thinks for a minute."that i have the freedom to do what i want....that is a strange question. but even stranger that i'm actually answering it."
i think it's important to ask yourself this question from time to time. whether it be in quiet solace, or heightened moments. for both gratitude and change. so what is it that i like the most about my life? that my days are not carbon copies. everyday is different. new. exciting. fresh. for so long i felt trapped. everyday seemed the same. i would always feel the sting of monotony at parties. same people. same conversations. it's one of the reasons why i became so antisocial. i just couldn't take it anymore! but enough of the past. just thinking about it makes me cringe. this is the present. and i am so grateful to be living in it. to actually be LIVING my life! this is what i like the most about it.

musical metro

my favorite part about taking the metro! don't forget to scroll down and pause the music below.

for natalie

obeying the sabbath

a couple sundays ago, i was wandering around the marais. it's the gay and jewish district of paris--where, ironically enough, church is. i had been exploring alone in paris for 2 weeks. and it was beginning to make me feel just that, alone.
to escape the chilly weather outside, i ducked into a vintage shop. at first, i was afraid to go inside. i KNEW if i found something, i wouldn't be able to buy it. and, low and behold, with in the first 5 mintues of browsing, i found a beautiful leather clutch for only 10 euros. the problem with vintage shops is this: you feel COMPELLED to immediately purchase anything you like. not only is it unique, it's cheap (the beauty and the danger.) also, everything disappears like samples at costco. so you've got to jump on it, quite literally. i swear my primitive need to gather comes out when i go to these shops.
but as i stood there staring at the leather clutch i thought, "am i really going to break the sabbath over a purse? come on alisha, you don't even like purses. you like your big obnoxious brown leather school bag that you for some reason carry around with you EVERYWHERE." so i bid it farewell. and whispered, "i'll come back for you."as i, not so skillfully, began to hide it, i see a girl laughing outside."is she laughing at me?" i think. she walks in and tells me she would have done the same thing. from there we began to talk, and instantly became friends. turns out her and her friend were au pairs too! we ended up spending the whole day together. wandered around the marais, took the metro up to monmarte, played around at sacre couer, and walked to the effiel tower. it was the first time i had seen this infamous spire. and it was FAN-TASTIC!! one of my favorite days.
p.s.-i went back the next day and bought that purse :)

here are a few snap shots from yesterday. so much has been going on here, and i've been worthless at updating about it. but in a nutshell: i've got good friends; i eat good food; and i get to walk around in beauty every single day. it's amazing.

flying solo {about a month ago}

First day alone. Disorented. I look down at my map as I try to figure out where I am, and where I want to go. No set plans, for my purpose was to familiarize myself with the city through aimless wandering. But hunger pangs were setting in, beckoning a directive for something sweet and cheap. I flip through my Rick Steves, but am completely clueless how to get around, even with his simple cartoon map. I slowly walk past the last fountain of the Tuileries Gardens, looking for someone to point me in the right direction. I see a small girl walking towards me. "Do you speak english?" she asks with a hopeful smile. "Yes," I reply, thinking to myself "well, if you're lost too, then we're both screwed." She pulls out a little sign which basically read, her "brother" has leukemia and she needs money, with a bunch of little smiley faces all over it. Gypsys. It caught me completely off guard. Struggling to politely excuse myself from the trap, a man walks past and says, "It's a scam just walk away," without breaking his stride. I look at him, and turned away. At first I thought, a seasoned tourist. But then I notice the book in his hand is his only possession. He's undoubtably a foreigner, but with the ease in which he walked, I could tell he was a local. "Good, he can help me" I think as I run up to him. Reeking of a lost tourist, I match his pace and ask for help. I could tell he was a little annoyed. But after explaining that I was more than just a tourist, he lightened up. This is what I found out within the first few minutes of talking to him: goes by the name of J.J.;South African bred; French native loved; retired author; and on one of his daily walks around Paris, which I was now joining him for. We walked around the Louvre, across the Seine, through the Latin Quarter, past Notre Dame, and parted at Hotel de Ville. It was both enjoyable and helpful.

laughing my pants off

Just a little tid bit from last night via a note my friend wrote about our experience:

"Probably one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

So the other night...we were walking around the Latin Quarter...it is around one in the morning...and we see this guy jogging. Strangely enough...it seems as though he is not wearing any pants.
Possible explanations... a) he is wearing extremely short shorts b) he is wearing underwear
c) he is not wearing a thing besides a baggy teal t shirt and his running shoes.

Naturally we died laughing not expecting to see him again.

We see him again. Jogging along the sidewalk..wearing shorts. Odd. We keep walking.

We see him again. He is way ahead of us on an extremely narrow street. He looks left. He looks right. We look ahead at him.

He takes off his shorts and HE IS IN FACT NOT WEARING ANYTHING ELSE UNDERNEATH. I MEAN LIKE A FULL MOON.

And he just continues jogging as if it is nothing to be running around in Paris at 2 in the morning half NAKED."

sitting, waiting, wishing

at the moment, i am patiently waiting in an apartment in the heart of paris, tucked away in the marais district, and a short walk from notre dame. oh how i wish i lived in this darling little studio apartment.
why am i here? i'm waiting to go clubbing with my friends. and luckily enough, a fellow coronadian (phil, who goes to berkley with one of MY best friends from home, dan schneider) is studying here at the sorbonne and invited me to stay at his place. yes, he's a boy. but! his roommate is a girl AND he has a girlfriend, so don't get any ideas people. if ever i want to go out in this glorious city, i have to stay IN it until at least 6am the next morning, because the last train home is at 11 pm. come on, like i'm going home that early. so he's given me an open invitation to come crash at his place whenever i want. Il est très gentile, non?
now if only my new girlfriends would text me back so i know where to meet them! that would be happy. given, it's early, i still want to know what the deal is, and if heals are a requirement.
p.s.-i'm using the girl's computer and snapped this photobooth shot on it. hope she doesn't check her trash! that would be awkward...
p.p.s.-i'll update what's been going on these past few weeks tomorrow!

behind

i am so behind it's ridiculous. why? the internet decided to die.
but i just wanted to let you all know, all six of you, that i will get the internet on my comuter very soon. attempting to type on this french key board is painful.
(qtten;^ting to zrite on this key fre,ch boqrd is pqinful:) thats what it is like typing on it.
anyway, i feel like im running out of time over here only é months but i think i might stay longer still dont know yet.
any thoughts?
§°

Childhood is Calling

Première nuit à Paris

Since becoming an au pair, I have felt like a little mom. But having gone out my youth is restored! On Saturday night I went out to Paris with Ellie, an au pair from London who lives down the street. She's been here for 6 months, so this girl knows her way around. Taking the train was easy. But using the metro...whole 'nother ball game. The first time she came to Paris, she was trying to figure the system out on her own, had a panic attack, and went home. After 20 min, we arrive at the Bastille and it's 10pm. We chat as we wait to meet up with her friends. I see Ellie's face light up with recognition. As the boy and girl approach greetings, introductions, and kisses are exchanged. They were very nice, and struggled to speak to me in English as we swiftly walked down the cobble stone streets, and wove through the night crowd to make our way to a bar to meet up with the rest of the group. Her friends are dancing, talking, and enjoying themselves when we get inside. Ellie tells me everyone in our group of 8 or so are also au pairs, and the majority were Brazillian.

{we are all au pairs. the girl on the far left was gorgeous, but you can't tell here.}

After hanging out and dancing (me, Ellie, and Katya) hop back on the metro to meet up with some other friends at Notre Dame.

{katya, ellie, me}

{ellie & me. smoke. pretty prominient throughout the entire night. yak.}

When we do, we walk into the building directly next door, take the elevator to the top, and walk down the hall into a little apartment. It's a house party with locals who attend college near by. So many things to say about that party. In a nutshell: tons of smoking (cigarettes & tabaco mixed with weed. no wonder i felt super light headed); loud, but, good music (they have a thing for american oldies. who knew); and, of course,booze. But when asked why I was only going for the apple juice, Ellie thought it fascinating I was Mormon and proceeded to tell everyone at the party.
One kid, told me "I did not think girls existed like you."
"What do you mean?"
"You belive in Jesus Christ, no?"
"Yes, I belive in Chirst. But there are alot of people who believe in Christ."
"Not in Paris. We are Catholic."
How odd. Out the window I can see Notre Dame. The symbolism or purpose of this famous cathedral truly meant nothing to them. For the majority of the party agreed that God didn't exist, and nor did Jesus Christ. This may not be the consensus for all Catholics, but, among Parisian youth, it is.
I can't even remeber this kids name. But the way he talked made him sound like such an idiot. He began to talk about America and our belief in God by singing the opening song to 7th heaven. I caught the last few seconds of it on the video below. I thought it was funny, since some families in Utah truly remind me of 7th heaven. But I don't think that's bad. We stayed there until 6am, walked past Hotel de Ville, stopped at Ellie's favorite kabab shop where we ate a fatty kabab for dinner/breakfast. Then hurried to catch the train home. We ended up on the wrong side of the tracks, and had to sprint down the stairs, across to the other side, back up the stairs, and onto the train. Ohhh, blahh, thinking of this makes me sick because I remember how much I was regretting the kabab at that point. After 20 minutes on the train/metro, I was so glad to be crawling into bed.

7th Heaven



Meet Ellie

La Maison

la chambre à coucher d'invité

{where amanda will stay when she comes to visit me!}

le salon

ma chambre!

ma salle de bains

le salle de bains de les enfants

la pièce de dinning

le jardin